Skyd Magazine is proud to announce a partnership with the Cleatofthemonth.com! We at Skyd are certain that the newly established Cleat of the Month Program will be a boon to our loyal readers. Please read the following appeal from Eric Stranahan of Cleat of the Month:
Do you love fly cleats? Are you pressed for cash? Well then you should totally spend money on the Cleat of the Month Program!
What is Cleat of the Month, you ask? Well similar to stunnerofthemonth.com, subscribers pay a fixed amount every month and in return they are sent a single fly cleat that will help them stand out in any social situation!
The Cleat of the Month Program was created with you in mind! We at Cleat of the Month, know that the mediocre regionals-level club player has an insatiable need to stand out – which is probably a side effect of the illusory superiority bias that your mother fostered in you, but we aren’t even going to start that conversation! The heart of the matter is that you know you’ll never be good enough to even make the practice squad on a nationals-level club team, so you are fulfilling your need to be different by looking like a total dude. That sucks. We know – we went through the same thing ourselves.
The great news is that we guarantee your cleat will make you more appealing to the opposite sex than you could have ever dreamed! Wear your Cleat of the Month to the bar or a pumpkin patch, and watch the women/men/animals flock to your right or left foot (depending on the month). Once they are staring at a part of your body you know its time to get some numbers, right playa?
The best part about Cleat of the Month is that you have no idea what color, pattern, design, make, model, size, or sex of cleat you will receive, so every month is a surprise! Shit, we might even send you a plastic bag and a rubber band for the first month because our company has been under-funded since day one. We haven’t had an infusion of capital since like 1996 – and that was only because we owned a domain name had a business license. Well, you can bet we lost those in a hurry! I mean, we had a panther den installed in the back of our offices for laughs last year and somehow Steve has actually managed to get his hands on a real panther! We actually have a panther living in our offices! Do you think the BBB is down with that? Hell no!
So please, buy these cleats. We bought them at the Play It Again Sports bankruptcy auction like eight years ago and they’ve been taking up room in the panther den. In case you were wondering, we need the money to feed the panther or we’ll have PETA to deal with. Have you seen those idiots on Whale Wars?
Eric Stranahan is President and CEO of Cleat of the Month. The company is based in Boulder, CO and offers free shipping to anyone willing to walk to that old mausoleum in Columbia Cemetery on the corner of 9th St and College Ave. Stranahan plans to expand his radius of free shipping to the UC Boulder campus for a limited time next week whenever he gets around to walking there to buy more weed.
Comments Policy: At Skyd, we value all legitimate contributions to the discussion of ultimate. However, please ensure your input is respectful. Hateful, slanderous, or disrespectful comments will be deleted. For grammatical, factual, and typographic errors, instead of leaving a comment, please e-mail our editors directly at editors [at] skydmagazine.com.