After waiting for the right time, Introducing the 2012 Middlebury Pranksters
Notable Roster turnover, young team? Veteran team?
Jesse Wolf (captain): We’ve got a handler corps of all seniors that have been playing together for four years. What does this mean? It means we got resets for DAYS, ON DAYS. We can score two points and then reset till hard cap, GAME OVER.
The rest of our team is relatively younger. Stud cutter out of Paideia High School, Davis Whitehead, has been a starter on the team since his freshmen year, and is more than ready to step up and take the role as primary cutter. Much like Peter Prial replacing Jeff Graham on Ironside, he’s got big shoes to fill, but thank god the kids got big feet.
Justin “Repo” Collins (captain): I’m expecting big things from the underclassmen. After a group of experienced veterans at the top we’ve got barrels full of freshmen who are just ITCHING to make plays. What we do best at Middlebury State is get our athletes on the field; you gotta let the athletes play.
Jeff(@pranksters69): We lost some great ones this year. Southpaw star Jake Herman left us to write screenplays and spend more time with Trey Katzenbach’s family. Charlie Roberts went back to the NBA after the lockout ended. And Waldo has a paper due. It puts a lot of pressure on reigning FOTY award winner Mattias Fitzpatrick, as well as stud junior cutter Davis Whitehead, shooting guard Robert Toy, and the senior handler corps led by captains Jesse Wolf and Justin “Repo” Collins.
Jesse: But seriously, check out Jeff’s twitter (@pranksters69). No joke, he won No Look Scoober’s 2011 “Twitter Account of the Year”.
Expectations for the Spring, goals, competitiveness
Jesse: We’re expecting a slow reduction in unemployment over the upcoming fiscal year, but no real increase in overall output. This economy is going to recover but it’s going to take some time and everyone just needs to be patient. In terms of our own finances, we’re heavily diversified in mutual funds, a handful of high performing tech stocks and some long-term government securities. Our goal is an annual return of 12%, which would be great especially in this economy. If we can achieve this we will definitely be able to remain competitive in the spring.
Repo: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose.
Jeff: Let’s not beat around the bush: this team eats, sleeps and breathes beach ultimate [Editor’s note: Middlebury’s “Nexgen Ultimate Beach Tour” won the Wildwood 3-1 Competitive Division in 2011, winning out over Beach Worlds champions Team USA and defending Wildwood champions Rabs R Us]. The season starts and ends on one magical weekend on the Jersey Shore. Asking us what our goals are for the Spring is like asking Lance Armstrong what his goals are for the Tour de Luxembourg.
Up and Coming players, guys on your team that are going to be making plays come the season
Jesse: A defensive Stalwart, every team has one. Meet Robert Toy. He’s Asian, ripped like a grunge t-shirt, and man will he ruin your day. Oh, nice up line cut, oh wait, where the shit did he come from? But I digress into hyperbole. We have talented players, but we’re not gonna beat you with our superstars, we’re gonna grind you on in-cuts and then when we score after 50 passes, we’re gonna keep grinding on defense until you spike the disc in your own endzone. It’s discipline, and it’s all we practice.
Repo: There’s two players you need to know about: Spoon and Anish. If you don’t know who they are, then you aren’t paying attention.
Jeff: One word: Aly-Fasset-Carman. Getcha’ popcorn ready.
Jesse: She’s really nice. [Editor’s Note: Middlebury Freshmen Aly Fasset-Carman led 2011 YCC’s in most number of D’s of any player, male or female. But seriously, she’s really nice.]
Star Players, who would be your Callahan nominee? Who are the big playmakers and leaders
Jeff: No need to speak in hypotheticals. Our Callahan nominee will be Spencer Diamond. Best to ever touch the plastic.
Jesse: I’m gonna have to go with Jeff here, no one can stop Dartmouth’s ARHS superstar. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em
Repo: Let’s get serious here guys, I doubt we’re even gonna see Spencer at Wildwood; it just doesn’t seem like his party. That being said, look for Garuda’s Dan Glatt and Slow White’s Chris Waite to continue their dominance on the sparkling sands of southern New Jersey. Although he’ll be a new addition to the team this summer, look for Brodie Smith to make solid contributions as well.
What tournaments are you planning on going to in the spring?
Jesse: Queen City Tune Up, Terminus, and the college series will all serve as warm-ups for Wildwood 2012 where we will defend our title.
Who in your region are you looking at as contenders? Teams and Players to watch that aren’t your own?
Jeff: Tufts, Dartmouth, Rabs R Us.
Repo: Boston College- Although they lost 1st team all region Chuck McBride (he can’t be stopped) a 2nd place finish at Huck-a-Hunk shows they’re ready to compete in the spring.
A real editor’s note: Chuck McBride is back.
Jesse: We’re our on worst enemy.
We heard Trent Dillon and Amos Adams were both heading to Middlebury; what happened?
Jeff: God has a plan. Sometimes you just can’t explain it. It’s time to move on.
Jesse: No comment.
Favorite Friday Night Lights scene?
Jeff: Thought you’d never ask. It’s a tie between the Season One scene where the team is running wind sprints in the rain and the Season Five locker room scene where Coach Taylor writes “State” on the whiteboard.
Jesse: Omg. I can’t choose just one, That’s like asking which of your children to kill.
Repo: The one where Landry kills a guy.