Well, there’s no hiding it now. If you read my last article comparing ultimate players to Game of Thrones characters, maybe you thought I just liked pop culture. But I can’t deny it after this: I am clearly a big nerd. I read an average of 2-3 comic books a week (thanks Seattle Public Library) and love superheroes. Well, why not go for broke? Below is a list of some of the stars and characters in Open club ultimate and what their corresponding superhero would be. If you’re wondering where Superman or Batman are on this list, remember, this article is only for characters published by Marvel. The DC characters will have to wait for a different article on another day.
Matt Rehder = The Thing: Let’s face it, Ben Grimm has got it pretty rough. If the Hulk goes crazy in New York, everyone else on the Fantastic Four finds something to do that conveniently involves staying the hell away from him. Reed Richards runs off to the lab to invent some new doohickey. Johnny Storm flies 100 feet in the air and throws fireballs from a safe distance. God knows what the Invisible Woman is doing. So who is stuck keeping the Hulk busy by trading blows and getting punched through buildings? Yep, the ever-loving blue-eyed Thing. He keeps the heavies occupied while everyone does what they do best to help win.
When it comes to heavy hitting, the Fantastic Four puts all its eggs in one basket. The same can be said for Sockeye. This is not a team with a lot of monsters. Sockeye’s forte is quick handler movement and clever defensive packages. But a big reason they can do it is because the other team is so preoccupied with Rehder. He is the heavy, the powerhouse. The opposing team has to devote a lot of time and energy to trying to contain him. While they try to play their game, everyone is preoccupied keeping one eye on Matt. Meanwhile, the brainy Reed Richards’ of the team, like Reid Koss, Tyler Kinley, and Danny Karlinsky can plot sophisticated strategies. The Johnny Storms, like Adam Holt and Chicken, can throw some fire. Now don’t think this means Rehder is just a punching bag. On the contrary; when Sockeye’s O-line takes the field, IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!
George Stubbs = Captain America: First, Stubbs’ skills with a disc rival that of Steve Rogers hurling that iconic shield. One thing most people don’t know about Captain America is that he is not “super-powered.” Rather, he is the absolute peak of human perfection. Against his fellow superstars, Stubbs isn’t particularly tall or strong. Yes, he’s a top athlete, but it certainly isn’t what defines him. No, what defines him is the same thing that enables Captain America to prevail over those much stronger and faster than him. George’s super power is perfect execution and nerves of steel. Like Captain America, he’s as clutch as they come. His epic semifinals game against Sockeye at the Club Championships showed that.
Stubbs fits the role of Cap in American ultimate as well. He is a Callahan winner, captain of Team USA, and looks like a GI Joe. Any player would be happy to call him Captain.
Joe “BJ” Sefton = Spider-Man: While BJ is an insane athlete, he doesn’t look too scary. He has definitely got a scrawny strength to him, but you can’t help but think he could use a bit more meat on those bones. Bigger and stronger athletes would love a piece of him, if only they could catch him. Watching Joe play ultimate makes one feel sympathy for his defender. He is simply too elusive and agile to be stopped. At the Pro-Flight Finale and Club Championships, BJ was able to rack up points because there is simply no one out there able to guard him in a 10-foot box. Spider-Man is victorious over his enemies with his speed, stamina, and his trusty Spidey Sense to stay one step ahead. He typically will frustrate his enemies into making a fatal mistake due to his slipperiness and corny jokes. Anyone who has seen the silly cheers, cheesy props, and loud voice of the Sockeye sideline can see a similar psychological tactic.
Brodie Smith = Iron Man: Iron Man is the face of the Avengers and one of the most popular Marvel super-heroes. Brodie Smith is an important face of this sport. Both Brodie and Iron Man are masters of utilizing technology. Tony Stark has a corporate empire and the best tech around. Brodie has created his own media empire and knows how to effectively market himself and the sport.
Aaron Liu = Daredevil: While neither Daredevil nor Liu may look like powerful players, they have remarkable senses. They can know what is happening when no one else does. Matt Murdock lost his sight, but his other four senses are incredibly enhanced. He can tell if you are lying by hearing your heartbeat. Or know where you’ve been by your scent. Surely Furious’ Liu has some similar power. How else do explain the stunning number of blocks from a player that is 5’9” and 130 pounds soaking wet? I have never seen a player get so many blocks with his back turned. He disrupts dumps and swings by using every sense to know where the cutter is headed and where the thrower is looking.
Andrew Lugsdin = The Hulk: If you are wondering why I chose Andrew instead of other hulking figures like Beau Kittredge or Hylke Snieder, it’s simple. The madder he gets, the stronger he gets. That could be said for Furious as a whole, but Lugsdin was often a focal point of that anger.
Here is a scene that been played over dozens of times. Furious goes down early in a game. They look flat. They lose momentum and the captains call a timeout. Time for a motivational speech, right? Time to calm down, shrug off those last few points, and remember that we are still ballers. Not in a Furious huddle. In a Furious timeout, people from 2 fields over turn their heads to hear the roaring vitriol as Lugsdin chews out every single person on that team. The opposing team looks aghast as a Furious captain in the huddle shouts how much they suck, how terrible they are, and that it’s time to get their f@#$ing act together, eh? It ends with a roar and that angry monkey turns into King Kong, taking back control and winning the game.
Jimmy Mickle = Magneto: While Magneto is the master of magnetism, Jimmy Mickle’s power is control over plastic. Mickle bagged 16 goals and 16 assists at Club Championships this year. On Mamabird and Bravo, he can fly all over the field and dominate anyone. When Bravo’s 2013 roster was assembled, people thought this was their year to go all the way. Magneto too thought his group was the future for mankind as he led the war against humans with the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.
Mac Taylor = Black Bolt: Wait, you don’t know who Black Bolt is?! Okay, Black Bolt is one of the most powerful heroes in the Marvel universe. He unleashes an incredibly destructive force by the use of his voice. Even a whisper could level a building. So it’s understandable that he doesn’t talk much. Mac Taylor is a similar character. He can be incredibly dominant in a game but is a quiet guy off the field. Like Black Bolt, he finds other ways to get his point across, like launching full field hucks for scores or grinding out turns on defense.
Dylan Tunnel = Colossus: My heart goes out to Colossus. He is one of my favorite characters, a huge man made of steel that can lift 100 tons. But by some failing of most comic book writers, you never really get to see him show off. When the X-Men fight, the first move of every villain is always to knock out or hinder Colossus. I want to see him strut! This guy is a blockbuster, smash some stuff already!
This is how I feel with Dylan. When Chain won the Club Championship in 2009, we all saw just how phenomenal Tunnel was. His play in Sarasota and at the World Games in Taiwan displayed big man dominance with touch throws and ice cold veins. After ’09, it seemed clear that with Tunnel and the other great players, Chain would be the team to beat for years to come. And yet Atlanta has struggled to remain in the top tier, ending three of the last four seasons with quarterfinals exits. While Dylan is at the top of his game, scoring 7 goals and recording 21(!) assists at Club Championships this year, Chain is not as dominant as in years past. This guy deserves to be in the spotlight, pulverizing opponents in the big games!
Seth Wiggins = Prince Namor: Prince Namor is the king of Atlantis and maybe the strongest mutant on the planet. The problem is that he knows it. Namor’s sneer is legendary, but so is his ability to back it up. Seth, without a doubt one of the best players in the world, is well aware of his supremacy. He is never pleased and has little patience for mere mortals. But once you’ve seen the amazing amount of work he puts in and his dominance on the field, you can’t help but acknowledge that he is without a doubt one of the best. And most importantly, the crow’s nest and eyebrows make him a dead ringer.
Dylan Freechild = Hawkeye: Both of these hotshots are primarily offensive threats that love to add some flash. Freechild’s arsenal of throws definitely reminds me of Clint Barton’s collection of trick arrows. Whether it’s a high release flick or a boomerang arrow, these guys have the skill to get it anywhere.
Matty Zemel = Beast: Away from the fight, both are total gentlemen. In the action, they go at it like an animal. And they are both built like a cannonball.
Timmy Perston = Deadpool: Too easy.
Brandon “Muffin” Malecek = Cyclops: These guys are pure offensive threats that use a ranged attack. And they both know how to rock a pair of sunglasses.
AUDL = Hydra: Hail Hydra! The battle strategy of this criminal organization is to throw so many bodies at the enemy that the sheer number overwhelms even the mightiest of heroes. The slogan of Hydra is, “Cut off a head and two will grow in its place!” This also seems to be the AUDL’s expansion strategy. In two years, six teams have either folded or moved to MLU. But the league added eight teams in 2013 and six for 2014. The current goal is to grow to 34-36 teams by 2017 and utter world domination by 2020.
Lou Burruss = Professor X: There’s more to being Professor X than just being bald. Lou shares Xavier’s mission to shape his world in the optimistic ideals he has. But while Professor X’s values involve the harmony of man and mutantkind, Lou is more interested in smart poaching and self officiation. Could the comparison be made between observers in Pro Ultimate and the mutant-hunting machines Sentinals? If it could, Lou would be the one to make it. And both are eternally patient, whether Xavier is trying to convince the Brotherhood of Evil mutants to stop trying to destroy humanity or how Burruss patiently addresses criticisms in the comments sections of his articles (actually, this comparison is pretty close).
Did I miss anyone? Let me know in the comments!
Featuring photos from UltiPhotos.com