It’s been a few weeks since my heart was run over with dull sputtering lawn mower then fed to a rusty wood chipper and stuffed down a gluttonous garbage disposal. Thank you for all the support, and special thanks to all the people who reached out to me in their own way. It was really interesting to see how many people have gone through similar situations and to learn how they handled them. In the past, I was always the lawn mower, and it’s been rather eye-opening to be the one underneath it.
But what about the rest of the readers, the ones who believe an artist’s personal life should not be expressed on a public canvas? What about the ones who feel uncomfortable stepping into tough material, or those who just want me to shut up about love and talk ultimate. What about them?
After deliberating, I’ve decided they’re right. Without further ado, here are five things I’ve got in the works. With some of them, I’m just toying with the idea. Others are a bit more set in motion. I have no idea if any of them are going to work out. Nonetheless, I hope you like them.
Why it could be awesome: My plan is to have five or six coaches that stay the whole week, and also to bring in Revolver and Fury players who specialize at certain things like handler defense or breaking the mark. I’d also like to bring in useful people like track coaches and physical therapists.
Why it could fail miserably: Getting kids to come is always challenging, but the craziest part has been learning that Frisbee politics is more cutthroat than Game of Thrones. When I first conceived the idea, I thought “This will be great, everyone will want to help make a sweet ultimate camp for kids” Boy was I wrong. Making this happen has been like trying to pull teeth from a live shark, except really it’s not a shark, it’s a pony and I am just trying to give it a sugar cube.
Why I hope somehow it will work: When I was a kid, I sucked at having friends and fitting in, and I also didn’t get along with my mother. I went to a lot of summer camps because of these three things, and long story short, the few people who made the biggest difference in my life as a troubled youth where camp counselors. To all the people doing youth outreach, you really are making a huge difference in kids’ lives. If you are kid or have kid or know a kid, have them come to Bay Area and have them learn some things from the amazing folks that make up Revolver and Fury.
- Training videos
I want to make videos of people who are very good at what they do, teaching people how to do them. Lets say I want to teach Olympic lifting: I’d go to the place where they train Olympic lifting, and I’d film. I’d do sprints with a track coach, and so on and so forth. I get a lot of questions about training, and although I am fairly competent at explaining things, it would be nice to give guidance from those that are the best.
Why I hesitate: I’m not sure I could pull off the proper editing.
The AUDL is about entertainment, and what better way to entertain the masses than to destroy the opposition in every way conceivable?
I have begun the necessary steps to try and accomplish this. It’s been awhile since I did three-a-days, and I want to get back at it. In no particular order, here are my workouts and how often I plan on doing them each week:
- Bikram Yoga, five times per week. Hot yoga is a truly humbling experience. The intense heat slaps at my resolve and old ladies dominate every position while I tremble in puddle of sweat and failure.
- Stability, three times. This is a new thing for me, and it was pretty hard when I started. My body caught on pretty quick.
- Track, three or four times. Mostly tempo running with speed once a week.
- Lifting lower body, three times. Mostly squats and deadlifts.
- Upper body lifting, three times. I haven’t really lifted upper body since college, and I can’t decide if I am doing it to play better or impress college girls.
- Agility and footwork, two times. It’s always good for us big folk to stay nimble for covering squirrels.
- Random workout, two times. It’s also always good to throw in a random workout to keep things spicy and your muscles guessing.
Either my body will rise to meet this new workload or crumble to dust under this extreme duress; It will come down to whether I have become smart enough to not overtrain. If I manage to stay healthy, I hope to raise my game to whole new level. Will I be Icarus, or Hercules? Only time will tell.
- Boon partnership
Boon is pretty swell clothing company that’s new to the scene, but it’s already making the AUDL jerseys for 2015. They recently asked me to become part of their team. Being part owner of a clothing company is an interesting proposition, and one I think I would enjoy. There are all sort of creative outlets connected to clothing, and I look forward to seeing what my brain can concoct in the coming months. Maybe a crazy commercial or a dope website. Maybe even a sweet line of Beau Wear.
- Get back to good, old fashioned entertainment
I am an Alaskan. People always ask me what that entails, and the picture below is a perfect Illustration of Alaska life. An outhouse is a shed covering a pit in the ground, and inside, one may use the bathroom. They are very popular in places that have no running water. Given the nature of poo, an intruding cone eventually forms and outhouse owners must deal with said cone. In Alaska, where temperatures frequently get to negative 45 degrees, “dealing” becomes a by any means necessary situation. For those seeking real substance from me, I proudly present the Alaskan shotgun poo cone demolition demonstration:
There you have it. Hopefully at least one of those things excites you. If not, I’m open to suggestions about ways you think I could better help grow this wonderful sport.